Sydney Day 47
Since I dont remember doing anything at all today, Im gonna write about what happened with a girl instead…
Here is the conversation I had with the girl I wrote so much about from day 44
I sent her my field reports as I felt like I needed to do something to make something interesting happen, well I sure got that. But it wasnt good haha. I was always curious what would happen if I sent a girl my field reports, I tried to damage control it hard as I could after But I could not….
Me: I’ve been writing a journal about my life over the last several years, im considering publishing it. One chapter of many im writing atm is my time in sydney. I have written about you in there mutiple times. So i thought it would be right to show you. It will probably answer some things you were unsure about. Day 30, 39, 44 are relevant in case you don’t want to read the whole thing.
I have never shown anyone my journal before and its just a draft. I won’t be in australia for much longer so this number might not work. So if that may be the case have a good life.
The link is an open office document, should be able to open it in word.
Her: Why are you leaving and where are you going?
Lol I seemed on the fact that you are travelling…. Honestly I was just making conversation. I asked if you had a gf because I don’t like sleeping with people who have multiple partners
I’m not sure how you can conclude that me asking you if you have a gf is because I want you to have one and need that for self validation. I simply asked because I don’t like sleeping with guys who are already sleeping with someone else and I don’t enjoy facilitating a breakup. From reading it, it sounds like you got burned because I wouldn’t respond to your texts so all you could do was say I was weird
I was also hesitant about you because I could tell you were lying about various things
Do you realise it’s illegal to take pics of people without their consent. Asking to take pics of someone is also a big turn off and why I wanted to get out of your apartment
Me: You were already leaving when I asked to take photos. Sounds like post rationalisation to me. But good morning, never thought id be sharing all this to you let alone anyone right now.
I really like and respect you. I didn’t like how our conversation ended; but I think you are very special. I was not expecting to feel like this. I would have never sent you my journal to hurt you, it was because I didn’t think you would understand till you saw it. I want you to understand. I respect your opinion. Nevertheless, I never expected anything from you and I don’t now. It would be cool to see you and hang out again.
Her: You don’t respect women… I thought the purpose of a journal was to be honest. It’s like each situation involving me was written from a biased perspective that works in your favour. For example you and I both know that I declined your offer for a drink when we spoke at redfern several times. Instead you wrote I wanted to go for a drink but you didn’t want me to miss my train. There are plenty more examples like this. That journal only serves the purpose of glorifying your ‘conquests’ and sleaziness, and stroking your own ego. Also get a job and stop lying when trying to pull girls…. It was obvious from talking to you that your full of bullshit. I just didn’t point it out at the time because I didn’t want to embarrass you.
(Here I wanted to reply to all of her bullshit she said logically, but in the end decided I would just be as nice to her regardless of what I wanted to do)
Me: You have made me think and question myself. I keep trying to convince you of things because you have challenged all my behaviours. I think there is two sides to every story, and my side is I have genuinely developed feelings for you. Enough to know that you deserve better than any kind of game. I regret that I may have ruined any chance of genuine friendship between us, but I wish you well. I hope you are succesful in all your endeavours and that at some point you can look back on our encounter with a light heart and see I acted with no intentional Malice. If you would ever like to chat or have a coffee, I would like that, but I respect your decision.
Bye bye little cutie… Probably will never see you again
