It’s Day 2 of the lockdown.
I haven’t been grocery shopping in almost a week.
Today, I had to use an old McDonald’s napkin as toilet paper. That was the last straw. I’m restocking.
At the store, things are bustling. Almost like old times.
Making my way into the cereal isle, I immediately notice a cute brunette.
She sees me.
There’s excitement in the air.
This is the first time in a long time she’s been in the vicinity of a man that isn’t family or friend.
No clubbing, no parties, no work, and no college has made her restless.
She’s horny.
I know, and she knows I know.
I open with a statement of empathy, and smoothly manoeuvre into my first display of intent.
We share our experiences of the whole pandemic situation, and I sprinkle a little bit of my vulnerable side in there.
Next thing you know, we’re talking about “us”. Perfect chance to seed some ideas of a future meetup in her mind.
The escalation is going well; she’s responding.
What the hell, I think. Might as well go for the instant date.
Problem is, all the bars are closed.
I hesitate, but then I remember- rejection is nothing to be afraid of.
I invite her to my place for a bottle of wine.
She understands. There’s not many places to go out for a date these days.
What happens next? A gentleman never remembers, as they say.
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These kind of situations happen to me on an almost daily basis. I’m not even kidding.
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