4 Week Natural Program Journal – Day 31
First off went to debried with alex, wrote down a bunch of stuff might upload it later. So I dont have to write it down all again here. But it was a pretty good debrief. After this we went straight to go karting, it went way over time, and I had bruises all over my body. So I had to delay my date tonight 2 hours, but lucky the girl was so chill she did not mind at all. She was the first aussie girl I spoke to at salsa on tuesday. Things is she said shes seeing someone, and it will just be friendly, even alex said dont bother, but shes so attractive fuck.
I met the girl, fuck she looked even better than I remember, I remember her being like the hottest girl there. But this doesnt even explain how good she looked, small girl, cute heels, tight black sock stocking things that went up just past her knees. Small black dress, with a little skin showing between the socks and the dress. She looked so nice fuck, complimented her straight up on how she was looking. Took her down to the opera bar, it was so busy, so I said we can get a drink here and go elsewhere later. Bought her a wine and myself a beer, sat down, starting talking to her pretty deeply. Took advice from alex from before, made myself super vunerable at the start.
She pushing her legs into me, I did a routine on her, I dont think Ive done this for ages, but she seemed like the perfect girl to do it on. The rings routine lol, she kept asking me more and more about it and offering me her hands. Very good for phsyical rapport, we looked at photos on each others phones, since shes a photographer hers looked a lot better!
At times I let the silence take over the conversation, part of it was holy fuck look at this girl next to you, and it was me taking it all in, and other times it was just not forcing the conversation, and also cause she made me more nervous than most girls. She had a lot of interesting things to say, at the start I was couldnt hear her, but didnt want to duck in to hear her, but I remended myself why I was here, cause I really liked her and ofcourse I want to hear what she has to say. So I ducked my head in to hear her, I dont care if this seems like shit game, It felt like I was cool doing something thats not cool cause I like her!
After we finisshed our drinks, I was gonna take her to a wine bar my new housemate told me about, but I didnt really know where it was rather It was right next to our house, so I did this purely for logistical reasons. We derped at the train station, not being able to find our way for ages. Eventually we got the train there, on the way we played a thumb war, she was gonna buy the next drinks, but I said if she bet me I would pay again. Well she was so enthusiastic she bet me cause she distracted me with her eloquent voice and self. When we got there I derped out and could not find it, you could see the vibe was fading as I fucked up where we were going. I got her to agree to come over to watch a movie and look at pictures at my house, she was a little hesistant though. On the way we found the wine bar, we ran in, good this made it look like I wasnt just tring to get her to my house. But hey literally were closing so we could not get in.
When we got to mine we had a few drinks, talked on the couch for a bit, I still had not tried to kiss her and I know that would not go down well, but she was okay with touch of the hands and shoulders. She was earlier interested in meditation I had talked about, so we went upto my room. And we meditated together, she enjoyed it but felt weird. God she smelt so nice, it was a weird smell actually, I had never smelt it before, but whatever it was drove me crazy. She was in my bed I didnt go crazy and make any moves, as I know anything could easily push her off. We starting watching a movie called a sugar film, I was giving her my opinion on lots of the stuff in it. And I know she was really appreciating it, slowly stuff started warming up, she started rubbing my hands, lying down next to each other. She face starting lighting up more and more, she was so expressive. I was thinking fuck is this like the coolest girl I have ever had in my bed, probably isnt, I seem to do this a lot, always think a really cool girl is the coolest girl, but seriously there something fucking amazing about this one, holds her so well, lots of stuff in common.
So as it was starting to go really well, she needed to goto the toilet, as she came out, she was like uhmmm I think I better go…. Oh damn, just as it was getting to that time, like 12.30 where I was like shit its looking like she is gonna stay, I can relax, and this might just happen, she has to go… I tried to reassure her and tell her it was fine, I walked downstairs and waited for the uber with her. She said she was tired and needed to get home to do stuff tomorrow, but I could tell there was more to the story than that, cause it was a break of what was happening.
After She left I messaged her she said something like “sorry I acted so weird and bailing on you” then later said “It was just going somewhere that I didnt want it to go”. There could be 2 reasons for this, its cause she was seeing a guy and felt bad, or it was very related to her. Or I made the end of the movie to obvious, as in she thought I just wanted sex, and left because of that…. Fuck I dont want her to feel like that, I literally just wanted to show her a good time, but at the same time fuck I really wanted her and felt so turned on just being near her. So maybe she knew that. She added me on facebook the next day aswell without me even telling her my facebook so somehow she found it. So thats a good sign I didnt fuck it up, and that she is at least curious/interested. Damn I would love to see her with all of my heart and soul again. If anyone has any input or advice on this girl I would be more than happy to listen.
